Deegan's Rescue: Survivors of Paradise Book 2 Page 4
“Tell me what you want,” he said, as if reading her mind.
“More.” She rocked against his thigh, surprised at how good the friction felt, how intense it was. She’d never done anything like it before, so it was all new. And, like a child with a new toy, she wanted to play.
He didn’t question her or stop to double check if she was sure. No, Tugarth ripped her shirt and bra off and then dragged her pants and panties down. When she was bare in his arms—only seconds later—he pressed her back to the wall and dropped a hand down to his pants.
Their breaths mingled as they gasped, both stunned by the first contact. His shaft was hot and so hard it felt like she was rubbing on sun-warmed stone. Granite, perhaps. No—no, not granite. Something more textured, something a bit rough—because he was; the thick plates on his chest went all the way down, layered beneath a denser section of his micro-fiber fur. It felt like nirvana against the sensitive lips of her sex. They stood there, appreciating the sensation, gazes locked…and then he shifted. The tip nudged her, and she tilted her hips.
It was the most intimate moment of her life. She stared into Tugarth’s eyes, mesmerized by how intense everything was; he watched her as he inched into her body, and they both groaned when she slowly opened for him.
He paused at the barrier, seeming confused by it, and then his eyes widened. “Deegan?”
“Yeah,” she whispered, answering the unspoken question. Not having a first kiss was one thing, but she understood his surprise at her virginity; she’d been a slave to a bunch of sadistic murderers. Rape was not unheard of…Dee shook her head and forced the word ‘rape’ from her mind. She wouldn’t think about that while experiencing this.
Turgarth, thankfully, didn’t noticed her momentary mental departure. He stayed still a second, breathing hard and looking like he was shell-shocked, and then he smiled. One of his enormous hands cupped her butt cheek and kept her still, but his other hand slipped between them; his thumb strummed her clit, playing with the engorged bud until she was squirming and moaning. Only then did he press past her innocence.
The pain was sharp, like a biting paper cut, but he stopped before going any farther. The hurt faded under his talented fingers. She couldn’t stop moving, her hips bucking and thrusting against him with abandon despite the ache. Dee would have been embarrassed, except if felt so good.
Amazing.
Fantastic.
Mind blowing.
And then Tugarth joined the party, pushing deeper into her, nailing her to the wall. She was tight—almost too tight—but there was no real pain. The burning was beautiful, affirmation that he was going slow, that she was giving herself up to him. She wanted to drop her head to his shoulder and close her eyes, to just feel—but she didn’t. She couldn’t. He was still watching her as if she’d hung the moon and stars, and she loved it.
This was how she’d always envisioned her first time. While she didn’t love him, she did trust him—and he was beautiful. So unbelievably handsome. Even as he bottomed out and nudged her cervix, she was tempted to swoon.
His face was tense with denied pleasure; she could only guess how much it cost him to go slow. “You’ve taken me, bright one,” he told her, leaning forward to press kisses all over her face. Gentle brushes of his lips across her cheekbones, lips, nose, and eyelids. It was sweet and gave her time to adjust, her muscles relaxing around his length. “You’ve got all of me, and I’ve never felt anything so perfect.”
Dee couldn’t even form words—he wanted to talk? Why!?
And then the most magical thing happened: he moved. He drew back, his cock sliding through her, dragging across her sensitive flesh, and it was like every nerve in her body caught fire. She was a torch, alight with pleasure, and it burned hot.
She screeched, clinging, and he chuckled before pressing back in. The slow rhythm was horrible and torturous, building her back up to a ledge that was far too high. Dee sank her fingers into his shoulders, using him as an anchor. “Oh my God,” she whispered. “I can’t…I can’t…”
“Yes, you can,” he told her. “Just let go. I’ve got you, Deegan.”
He kept thrusting, pushing her toward the edge. But she couldn’t. Falling would crush her into tiny little pieces. She wailed, dragging her nails down his chest as she fought to keep from succumbing—but it was useless.
“Come, my bright Charm. I want you squeeze me with this tight cunt, to scream my name. Give it to me, let me have this little bit of you.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks as his thumb strummed just right. She did as he asked, his name falling from her lips as she stiffened and tensed, all her muscles seizing from the enormity of the pleasure rushing through her. It was beautiful—an untold experience, something she’d never imagined.
In all the years since learning what sex was, she’d never given it more than a passing thought. Sex was sex. Naked bodies and leaking bodily fluids were…gross. Something other people were free to explore while she spent time playing with her machines.
Now, with Tugarth hilt-deep, Dee was torn between frustration and excitement.
“I can’t believe it,” she groaned, letting her head fall forward onto his chest as he picked up the pace. “I can’t believe it!” She waited so many years! Why!? Why had she denied herself so long? She was never going to stop!
And yet, it had happened so suddenly. Her brain wanted to pause, to mull over this life-changing experience. The excitement won over her caution, however, and she pressed her face back into the crook of his neck, biting and sucking. There was a brief metallic taste, and then she moaned and bit down again.
“You are perfect,” he said, pistoning faster, spacing his words to match his thrusts.
Another ledge was fast approaching for her, and this time she reached for it with open arms—she wanted that feeling again; the freefall, the ecstasy.
Her wordless cry as the orgasm hit was drowned out by Tugarth’s guttural shout. His hips stuttered, his rhythm falling to the wayside. Hot—really, really, really hot—semen spurted into her, and Dee grimaced. Yet another thing no one had ever mentioned!
Still, it was worth it. Her mind was…blown. Totally, completely, blown.
“I can’t believe it,” she whispered again.
He chuckled and rubbed his nose against her cheek, nuzzling. Their bodies were still attached, but she felt him softening. Her inner walls tightened on a spasm, and they both grunted. “Easy, Deegan. Just relax, my Charm.”
His words had the opposite effect. His Charm? Had he not heard a word she’d said earlier? She was not his Charm, amazing sex or not! “Can I get down?”
“You’ll have to let go of my shoulders first,” he teased.
Dee unclamped her legs from around his waist and crinkled her nose at the wet rush down her thighs; sex was gross. She let go of his shoulders but couldn’t stop trembling. She leaned back against the wall and watched Tugarth straighten his clothes. Then, before she could protest, he had her in his arms. The big brute really loved carting her around as if she were a bride.
Thing was, part of Dee loved it too.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“To clean you up.” He carried her into the bathing room and set her on the counter. He flipped the switch that turned on the wind tunnel and set her inside the cleaning unit. A few seconds later, when she was sparkling like new, he swept her back up.
“Now where are we going?” she asked.
“To bed.”
No, no, no—no. As good as curling up with him and snuggling sounded, she couldn’t let it happen; he was already throwing around ‘my Charm’ like he had rights to her. Cuddling up to his alpha self would give the wrong impression.
Once he’d settled her on the edge of the bed, she grabbed his wrist to stop him from joining her. “I need some time alone.”
He stood there, not speaking, for a long moment. She couldn’t meet his gaze, but she felt him watching her. “You still deny what’s between us?”
Chapter 3
Tugarth squatted down in front of her. “You gave yourself, your innocence, to me. That means something, bright one.”
Dee sighed. Wasn’t it women who were supposed to attach meaning to sex? “I’m attracted to you, Tugarth. I can’t deny it—there’s no point in denying it. But just because I wanted to experience sex with you, that doesn’t mean I want more than sex. I told you that several times.”
“What else?” he demanded. “I can see it in your eyes sometimes; there’s more. What is it?”
Dee flinched. “You don’t want to know.” He really, really didn’t.
“Tell me.” He put a gentle finger under her chin and lifted her face. “They didn’t rape you, but they did something else, something that makes you want to hide. Tell me.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. “I’ve never talked about it, Tugarth. Not even with the other Paradins.”
“Tell me, bright one. You can trust me.” He stroked her cheek with his thumb while continuing to cup her jaw in his big hand. “Please.”
It was the please that did it; well, and the fact that she trusted him. Her heart and mind were agreed on that point, even if those two intrinsic parts argued about the wisdom of lifebonding.
Dee sucked in a shuddering breath. “Every other woman was raped. Every. Single. One. A lot of them will never be able to have sex again, or even be touched. But the Pirates didn’t touch me sexually, not even once.” That fact still made her so guilty sometimes, so ashamed, that she couldn’t bear to be around the other survivors. “I’d had no idea we’d been invaded, or that the disease infected so many people. I wasn’t in the town, or close to it, when things went bad. The colony was situated in the valley between two mountains, and the life support system—which relied on solar power—needed maintenance. I was up there for three days, working, without a clue…”
His thumb stroked her cheek again, a gentle reassurance.
“Maintenance runs are rough; no shower, freeze-dried rations, and sketchy communication at the best of times. It was a job no else wanted, but I volunteered. Always loved tinkering, you know.” And that’s what she’d been doing, playing with her machines, while most of her fellow colonists died. “So I ambled down after getting everything on the mountain settled, and it wasn’t until I was smack-dab in the middle of a swarm that I realized something was wrong. They came at me—dozens of friends and neighbors, all of ’em caked in dried blood and screaming, and I just…stood there.”
“The disease is horrible,” he murmurs. “Hard to see, harder to talk about. Hardest to escape.”
“I didn’t escape, I was rescued.” Dee huffed, “That’s what I thought, anyway. A giant freakin’ alien snatched me up and shot down the swarm. All of them. My next-door neighbor was ten…she was right in front, her pretty dress torn to shreds.”
Why was she telling him this? Dee turned to lay on the bed, putting her face in her hands. She couldn’t go through it again, couldn’t face the memories.
“I need to know, Deegan. Let me share this with you.” He curled behind her, spooning and offering his warmth and comfort.
Sharing the burden sounded so good. It hurt to carry all the blame. “His name was Kinnip.” Behind her, Tugarth tensed, but Dee didn’t ask him why. If he knew the male, he probably, finally, understood her hesitance to lifebond. They were the same breed: Abbaleer. If she hadn’t been such an open-minded person, their physical similarities would be enough to send her into a panic attack. “After he shot the infected colonists, I clung to him. He carried me off. I was in shock so didn’t fight him. I didn’t even speak. I kept seeing their faces. To me, in that state, he was my hero. At one point, I wrapped my arms around his neck and just hugged him. By the time I shook off my daze, I was chained up. He’d taken me to the ship, carted me to his quarters, and stripped me naked. I don’t remember any of it.” She thanked all her lucky stars she didn’t remember. “I spent all of my captivity there.”
“Why did he strip you, Deegan?” he asked.
It was a valid question, one she’d asked herself over and over. “I’m not sure. I thought he’d rape me. I prepared myself, told myself I’d survive. And then…he opened his door. Took the whole thing off, actually. I was kept in the living area, the collar was wirelessly locked to the console in his viewing screen; I could move throughout his quarters, everywhere except his bedroom.”
The room was cold—she shivered and crossed her arms, trying to hide her nipples. She never wanted him to remember she was female. She never wanted him to remember her at all. Her little corner was out of sight, a perfect pocket to hide in. Dee huddled there, silently, as often as possible.
“Gurruulat!” he shouted. It’s what he called her, though she had no idea what it meant. They didn’t speak the same language, and she didn’t think she’d ever figure out what his growls meant. He sounded more animal than sentient, but Dee rushed to him. She’d learned early on not to ignore his call.
When she fell to her knees in front of him, he cupped her face. It was gentle, but she flinched. The sting across her cheek was sharp, and she cried out at the slap, the punishment for flinching. A laugh surprised her—there were other aliens in the doorway, watching. Three of the big brutes. And they were laughing! She shivered and ducked her head, unwilling to let them see her pain.
The string of guttural words her captor let loose were garbled. Indecipherable. All except her name, Gurruulat. Whatever he was saying, he was talking about her. She barely managed to keep from weeping. What if this was it? The rape—a gang rape.
Tears poured down her cheek as she’d knelt there, still and quiet like a whipped dog. How had this become her life? She couldn’t drudge up an ounce of fight—only a deep need to keep still, to obey.
She was tired of pain.
Instead of the horror she was expecting, he grabbed her dirty hair and forced her crawl beside him; he sat in front of his console and positioned her between his legs. And then he…stroked her hair. Softly. She leaned into it, exhausted, and fell asleep to the steady rhythm with her head resting on his leg.
Dee shook off the memories. The shame didn’t go away, though. “He hurt me. Every time he saw me, he hit me. I think he even broke a couple of bones; those times I’d pass out and then wake up healed. The Medbed, I guess, though I didn’t know it at the time. He was always there when I woke up, holding me close; he’d cuddle me as if it had all been an accident.” In the beginning, she’d been so confused and disoriented that she’d clung to him, even after his abuse. He was the one constant in her life. She’d needed him. It was only after her shock and initial terror had waned that she realized the dangerous cycle she’d been forced into. “Other males were always there, always watching, and he loved that. They weren’t allowed to touch me, but he let them come in and stare…he’d make me do things that were humiliating. Used me as a footstool, once. Had me on all fours, his feet on my back, while the others looked at my…”
Tugarth’s hold tightened. “I’m sorry, Deegan. I’m so sorry, bright one.”
“And then he started bringing in the other women.” That was the worst. He left the bedroom door open, so she always heard the screams. “There were other terrible things, but that was the worst.” Especially since he hadn’t done it to her.
“I knew Kinnip.” Tugarth admitted. “He was a cruel bastard—controlling. Bitter, too, at being denied advancement. He set his sights on captain and hated those of us who kept him from achieving it.”
Dee turned to him and buried her face in his chest. Tugarth held her, letting her take comfort in his arms. After a few minutes, a bit of the tension seeped out of her, and she knew it was time to change the subject.
“You need a nickname.”
He grunted. “Why?”
Because Tugarth was a weird freakin’ name and
moaning it during sex was even weirder, she thought to herself. Aloud, she said, “It’s a human thing.”
“Lanie and Paul called me Muscles.”
Dee snorted. She remembered that; it was right after meeting him, when she’d been shaking like a leaf. Being surrounded by the Peacekeepers had brought back all kinds of horrible memories, especially when all of them stared at her and Lanie like they were dessert. Only Tugarth had made the effort to reassure them, saying that they were different from the Pirates in all the ways that mattered. And he was right—he was kind and thoughtful. He wanted a life partner, not a slave.
“Muscles is funny, and sexy, but I was thinking something more personal.” Dee tapped her chin, debating. “Shortening your name, maybe, like I do for Deegan? Tug, or Garth...no, both of those suck.”
Tugarth made a face.
“Yeah…how about…Oh!” She clapped, grinning. “I got it! Earlier, I realized you look just like a Viking!”
Tugarth cocked his head. “Viking? What does that mean?”
Huh, maybe there was no translation in their language. After first getting the download in hivemind, Dee had assumed all their words had counterpoints…not so much. But that was kind of a duh; not every species would have a Viking culture in their history. Big duh, actually. “It was an ancient culture back on Earth; I don’t know much about them, except they were wily warriors with blond hair and big muscles. I guess I assumed that if you knew what a Pirate was, you’d know about Vikings.”
He frowned. “We didn’t study your culture in depth, only sampled the information sent out by your leaders in order to learn the language and necessities. But this re-naming…I don’t understand it, even if I am a blond, muscled warrior.”
Not the response she was looking for. She wanted something special just between them, even though she didn’t want to examine why she felt compelled to create such a bond. Being his ‘bright one’ made her happy for no good reason, and no else had ever called her anything so intimate. She had hoped he’d feel the same way…but…well, too bad. He’d have to suck it up.